[New Post]: On the cusp of Happiness

I sat down and started writing my “New Year’s” blog post when I realised that I may just be wasting everyone’s time, including my own. So I scrapped it, kind of.

I have spent weeks reflecting – and have come to the conclusion that every year is the same- ups and downs, ins and outs. So the constant, as the cliché would aptly describe, is change. What differs then? Year to year- I realized that even though everything changes, and life seemingly becomes a lot more complicated, you ,as a person, are growing, learning with EVERY experience. Experience in itself that could be good or bad, new or the same experiences appearing in a more amplified sense. Some people like to throw the word ‘Karma’ in when it comes to experiencing many bad things in one year (because of your own wrong doing). But blame it not on Karma, I blame it on Carmen. I’ll explain.

Let’s take a look at where experiences, or problems, come from Carmen= People. People.

Either people have caused problems directly, through negligence or intended harm, or their views or opinions based on YOUR own doings have become problematic FOR THEM and as a result, a problem now for you.

In the same breath, I’d like to mention that I’m a firm believer that: ‘I am because of other people’. Whether that is because of the way my parents have raised me, interactions with people at any given time, friends or family, through work experiences, fact is: people have shaped who I am. I think it quite problematic then, that the very cause of my being is linked to issues and problems I face, daily. If people are the cause of both joy and pain, how can I live abundantly, happily without worries and such? I have been pondering about this for many years. Where does the balance lie in involving people in your life, where do their opinions matter in your affairs and where does one need time away from people? A few obvious clues to mention: one cannot exclude all people (impossible), and at the same time, one cannot have too many people in one’s life. I believe that’s just looking for trouble- you could lose yourself in the mix. Before I continue, let me pause to consider two types extremes in types of social people: extremely popular you-need-to-know-everything –about-me-I-live-for-attention kind of persons and please-don’t look-at-me kind of private persons. Does the type of social person you are affect the amount of happiness you have? Maybe very private people are very happy people- or just content, or just confused as to what their place are in the circle of life. Maybe people who love the attention of others thrive or maybe they’re needy. Being both at times a very social person, as well as a very private person- I’ve come to understand where the magic happens, getting that balance in attaining and retaining happiness, in the context of people directly (and indirectly) affecting my happiness. Well, I believed it be a magical finding.

“Living life not on the edge, but on the margin”- in the context I describe above, this relates to who you include in your life and why. You may have many friends who make you happy and many enemies who hurt you (or friends for that matter), but the real difference comes at the margin: where that one friend (or experience of a friend) makes an effort to be by your side (possibly), when you needed it most, for the right reason. Or perhaps you have friends galore, and just that handful you never contact- and just when you do they fill a void or change your perspective in a simple way- which brings you a deep joy. Or you’re a private person, possibly someone with no friends, and upon meeting a stranger, they enlighten you to a different way of thinking or way of life, which completely changes your world. On the margin.

It happens, like that. It reminds me of that book/ movie: “Eat, Pray, Love”: Julia Roberts found true happiness later on in her life. She embarked on a journey on supposed self-discovery, she had to be conscious of people she had in her life before, the life she lead (even though she had some good money, was married etc) and was leading: she got to the point where what she had was “too much of what wasn’t right for her”. That imbalance caused much unhappiness. She then met an array of new people all providing new ideas and wonderful insights into life- still her not finding the balance. No bit of meditation could help her. In my personal opinion, I would say that new guy she met, with the very, very lovely accent, brought her to the point (the margin), where she had to ask herself important questions, and make the changes necessary for her to be truly happy.

I wish had the perfect conclusion- but this was me thinking out loud (or in writing, if you will).

Life is getting more and more complicated- but I for one would like to learn how to keep the right stuff (often nonsense) out and retain sanity and all things good.

Instead of living on the edge, daring to be different, I want to live on the margin- being open to possibilities of having abundant happiness- in the smallest of ways, because of the insight of one person or because of one life sacrificed, one concept expressed, one thought or idea born.

Mrs Y (lol)
Yvette Hess

[For interest Sake]: Urban Edge is: in-your-face

Hi there, readers!

🙂 In and amongst the other gazillian things I do, I write, on a freelance basis for an online and print magazine called: URBAN EDGE MAGAZINE. The printed copies are available at various distribution spots in Cape Town and in Stellenbosch! Readership now reaches 5000. So, for those interested in advertising in it- it would be worth your while.

The mag is young, fun, and as the title hints- in-you-face. It’s packed with news and tit-bits about the local Cape Town scene- promoting Cape Town’s wealth of EVERYTHING AWESOME!

Anyhoo, I was asked to cover the annual Cape Town International Jazz Festival and here is the piece I wrote:

http://issuu.com/urban_edge_mag/docs/issue_8

*Page 2*

Please, check out the other issues- the writers and photographers are talented in so many different ways.

Follow them on twitter: @Urban_Edge_Mag

P.S and for those of you itching to write, they love taking on people who are willing to contribute:)

Thanks for the stalking,

Miss Y

Expectations, Ellipses and lack of Effort-Kills relationships

** Disclaimer: I make up words as I go along**

As the title suggests- this short piece centres around what kills relationships. These, obviously amongst other numerous reasons. Forgive my bitterness- just discovered I’m a bitter woman. But I’ll have a sense of humour about- and laugh. Har- Har.

Ever noticed how friends are just the best people to have in your life? You know, those amazing people you choose to have around you. Then one day, romance comes along- sparks fly and you’re in a relationship. Down the hill the romance goes and sparks die, dead. How did it happen?

I know how. The first way, through- expectations. Yes, specifically those that don’t coincide or change as time goes-a-flying-by. I expect this, and you expect that- sometimes there are possibilities that either one’s expectations can change- other times not. It’s got nothing to do with love, really. Because the feelings are there, and they are strong. It’s what works, what’s tolerable and what’s good for both partners. Yes? I hope so. I have an ex who only works as a friend/ big brother- when we were together, we expected too much from one another- and it smothered the growth of the relationship. This is fine, in my opinion, because now I have a great friend and I don’t have to fight with him every day.

In the title, I mentioned ellipses. Yes, those cute little dots we put at the end of a sentence. Those words often elude to, what? Who knows. They open the can of ‘mystery’, ‘uncertainty’ and ‘promise of everythings and nothings’, all at the same time. Let me give you and example. Person A: “I miss you… I love you… We should make plans.. Yes, maybe one day… I’m not sure… Let’s see…” Wow, and then? It’s like they are open-ended conversations that go either really badly or really well, very quickly. What’s wrong with that? Maybe nothing, maybe a lot is wrong with too much freedom and open-endededness… <—see what I did there? These dots leaves you to think, but by yourself. And we all (should) know when you think by yourself, and reflect alone- it's good- it's great. Just sometimes you get stuck in 'alone-ness'. Once that happens- you forget about what any one else thinks or feels and all you have is your ellipses. The dangers are, in my opinion, that if there is no direction in the relationship, or no communication as to what the direction should be- open-endedness can kill the relationship. Yada Yada, trod along, here we go- let's follow the ellipses, but where to?

And finally the last 'E' I can address is 'effort'. I feel like this is an obvious one. Or is it? What is effort? Some liken this, in relationships, to romance or spontaneous romantic gestures. Eh, maybe they are right. I believe it's more than the 'romance' and the pink, warm, mushy stuff we attach to effort in relationships. Effort is a broad term for: 'do what you can to make that person you're with know that you're happy, you appreciate them, and you want to give attention because they deserve it- in a way that they can feel it- not how you you would want it'. Or am I pushing it, a bit? I think I had this conversation with an ex. He asked, "How am I supposed to know what you like and what you want me to do?" My reply: "You used to do all those things when you were trying to get my attention. Now, do those things to keep it." I paused and then said, "Ask me, or google it. But do it."

Harsh? Maybe.

Triple E effect.

Miss Y

Chase me on twitter: @yvette_adams

[Review- Beauty]: Miss Sillanious

I’m not a lady. Wait, that came out wrong (I am in fact, lady). I’m not your typical lady.

I don’t the ‘shoe’ thing or the ‘beauty regime’ thing.

I don’t do the ’tissues-in-the-bag’ thing.

I don’t do the ‘over-indulge-in-chocolate’ thing.

I also don’t do the ‘nail’ thing. Well, not maintaining all that stuff, like going for “mani’s” and “pedi’s”.

Apparently all these are strikes against my name in the world of women. Oh well. I moved on from that.

Anyway, I was lucky enough to be treated, as a Christmas present, by my significant other, to a manicure and pedicure at Miss Sillanious, a beauty parlour.

 

Why Yvette? Why blog about it? Well, duh, because it was that great of a service that I had to SHARE pure awesomeness!

Miss Sillanious is located in Cape Town, okay- already, the ‘cool‘ factor is sorted. Another plus, is that it is located on Long Street. Whoop, Whoop! Besides those two cool factors- the owner, Suzanne de Wet is the brand that is Miss Sillanious. Cool, edgy and damn good at what she does.

I was lead to 210 on Long and a hot chick with long red braids lead me to the small, purple room where all the equipment was neatly set up. And when I say purple, I mean, PURPLE. It’s her favourite colour and it’s everywhere. It’s quite cool actually- well, I’m just biased because I love purple too.

If you like different, she can make it happen!

Naturally we chatted, which was easy to do. We spoke about the upcoming Metal4Africa fest (yes, this a while back) and just kept a good conversation going. I found that most spa’s have fake convo one needs to deal with- quite irritating, actually.

When she did my hands and feet, Suzanne had some music in the background- and NOT dolphins, the sound of breaching whales or ocean or harps etc- real music, like Cold Play and a whole lot of other cool stuff. Wasn’t heavy metal or anything, but just not that typical beauty spa music that sends you off to sleep.

After an hour or so we were all done. Sadly, I was enjoying it so much! I should have taken pics, but didn’t. That- awkward- moment- when you don’t have your camera around when you need it…

Must say, I was left feeling rejuvenated: I rocked because my nails look great and they were purple. ((BOOM)).  Sipping on a cold one (at Long street Cafe) straight afterward with felt so much better with great looking toes and hands!

Prices? Pfff- Students will have a ball of a time here. Miss Sillanious is affordable. 30mins of Filing and re-varnishing costs you R50; a manicure R110.

Parking? It’s Long Street, there will be parking- even if it’s a little distance away. UCT Students- You know the drill, take a shuttle to Hddingh and walk down the street to 210 Long street. Eezy Peezy.

Pleasure factor? Hell Yes, you’ll be satisfied. (Sorry, could’t think of another appropriate word that started with a ‘P’)

Check out her FB page for more info: https://www.facebook.com/miss.sillanious

She is an awesome make-up artist too. She does basic make-up AND special effects. That should make for interesting times, yes? 😉

Love it!

Bottom line: This chick is great at what she does, she is real and promises no frills when it comes to price or quality.

___________________________________

Bonus: She is different.

I like different.

 

Check her out- 0820492585 or mail her- suzanne_de_wet@yahoo.com.

___________________________________

 

I’m out!

Miss Y

Chase me: @yvette_adams

 

[Inserting exciting title here]- Here’s what to expect from me in January

I have a few aces up my sleeve this month!

My spotlights this month include Emile Jansen (Hip Hop legend and activist of note!), Buddha-Philippine Kunene (Mlungisi) (UCT student and Hip Hop artist heading for the top), Wayne Mckay (Versatile Capetonian Stand-up comedian) and some promotional news on Roy Morrison’s (UCT) social entrepreneurship venture. Included in some other surprises is an upcoming review- another beauty experience. <— Cannot wait!

Supporting local businesses and talent! *Phwew* Busy Busy!

Luckily I know some really cool people. Actually, I have been ‘lucky’ enough to meet extraordinary people doing extraordinary things! Hopefully, as time moves on, I’ll get to publish some more stories about women- hint hint.

Also, I’ll be publishing some more of my poetry- online. And errrm, I will be performing some of my poetry too- on radio. (EEK: Nervous!) Why do I get myself into such situations?

Not sure if some of you know BUT, I am a blogger for http://www.all4women.co.za too, you can catch me at the following url: http://all4women.co.za/blogs/yves-corner/index.1.html . Feel free to browse often, and subscribe. I welcome comments too.

Soon I will be writing up some stuff for L’Agence TKN Model and talent Agency based in Cape Town. I will let you all know about that too. EXCITING!

mmm, what else? Oh: Life is grand!

Follow me on Twitter: @yvette_adams for updates on when I publish poetry and articles- oh and some of my random thoughts.

Stay full of good soul!

Miss Y

Happy New Year- kinda sorta

I thought I would write a few words to wish people “Happy new year” and such. Then I changed my mind.

It’s not that I don’t wish people well, I mean that would be so rude of me, but rather I wish that people would take on the year 2012 with a different perspective than they had in this year. Yes, all of us, in the new year will be faced with challenges and heartache and loss. No year is different to any other year really. Of course we will have joys too, but let’s not forget the pain, life lessons learnt and necessary tragedies that also form part of who we become and how we grow.

2011 was a rough year for many. Some of us made it, others didn’t. But we were all blessed in some way of the other.

My most important lessons learnt in this year include (amongst other):

  • Life is tough, but just go with it.
  • Time management will get the better of you, watch your back.
  • Wash your back, take care of yourself.
  • Love yourself, not last, but first.
  • Learn to trust your centre- and feed it wholesomeness.
  • Your journey is your own, not anyone else’s.
  • Listen. No, really listen. Listen with an understanding, kind ear. You want the same anyway.
  • Everybody got problems. That’s it.
  • You not always right (painful).
  • You are not always wrong (Win!)
  • Passion is good. Hold onto that- it’ll get you up in the morning.
  • Don’t drink too much RedBull or Play.
  • Forgive.
  • Say thank you, and mean it, all the time.
  • Love!
  • Learn to be still (and ‘stil'<— translated to ‘quiet’ from Afrikaans)
  • Friends are very important. You chose them, didn’t you?
  • Family is important too. You didn’t choose them.
  • Get over revolutions- all kinds. Evolve!
  • Time doesn’t standstill, it doesn’t wait to be. It just is. So, keep moving, and just be. Don’t wait.
  • You are the best friend you could ever have.
  • Be genuine.

So yeah that’s my list. Lot of lessons, I know.

I don’t mind learning. I’m growing.

P.S Happy New Year (The social conformist in me speaking)

—->>> Miss Y

 

The blogger has been quiet- Updates :) and motivations

Hello world! (boring programmer introduction)

I have been a busy bee of note, having fun, organizing gigs, prepping for a JHB trip, VIP model agency launch and having an uber awesome time connecting to amazing people in my life. I have also taken time off to pause, and reflect on the year’s events and happenings.

I decided a few weeks ago, that I am a winner. This explains my happiness and positivity. I have been blessed with a year of trials and tribulations and lessons well learnt! I have succeeded and failed in more ways than one this year, but overall (with the bigger picture in mind), I have ended with a ((BANG)).

So I didn’t graduate this year. Pffff. (I didn’t plan to and I still passed Auditing, hehehehe). I’m still alive, and kicking, and conquering! That’s for sure. I have NO doubt in my mind that things happen for a reason, and for this reason alone I welcome the year that was 2011. Sigh, this sounds like one of those end-of-year-speeches. In part, it is. I have been thinking so much. Life has just been buzzing of late, and I’m owning every second. Maybe it’s the weather? Maybe it’s in me just embracing every second? Maybe it’s me just deciding to be. Just be. Every single part of me is tap-tapping, itching to get to work, finish my degree and do all the stuff I want to do….

*Arrrgghhhh* <—— Scream of joy, relax.

So, what’s happening in the world of Yve now?

Had a great jam with the boys Josh and Yanick at Purple Turtle again last night! Great crowd, again, Awesome music and talent, AGAIN, but what I loved most of the boys was their yearning to just gives us some good vibes. That is all. They are genuine like that- and makes them a pleasure to work with. Why did Josh Riley cut his hair???? That should be the title of my next blog post.

Can somebody just holler with what went down at Synergy this past weekend?? Geez! I missed it. I was a party of my own (#hides).

Onto some promo work quick:

My bra (friend) Ephraim Gordan (from Class Act SABC1 and UCT) is starring, alongside DJ Mouton,  in a production called “Kragbox” at the Magnet Theatre in CPT. Book at 021 448 3436. It’s directed by Fran Marek and Mark Fleishman! R50 gets u in. Dates: 29 Nov- 1 December only. Check here: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Magnet-Theatre/138175299539864?sk=wall

Then tomorrow night, my sister, Chanell Adams (CJ Adams on FB), will be taking to the ramp at the LTKN Model and talent agency launch. I’m talking VIP, red carpet, goodie bags, TV crew, hotness all round! *YAY* I will be there and tweeting for days! Can’t wait, so proud of my sister. =)

See link here: http://www.lagencetknmodels.co.za/launch-party-full-details-venue-photos There are still a few tickets left, R100 regular, R200 VIP, but if you buying after 1pm tomorrow and at the door, it’s be R200 and R350 VIP. I’m not good at Maths, but I think the latter is not a good idea. Get your tickets quick! 🙂 See us all there, strutting our stuff… *winks*

The spotlight posts are still coming- my busy friends have been, well, as I have mentioned quite busy.

Let’s be excited about life!

You owe it to yourself.

 

Miss Y

twirra: @yvette_adams

email: yvetteyadams1@gmail.com

Email me for more info about any of the events or collab work 😉

 

 

Son of a…. 1000 pics

Happy pics work best

OMG. The music is so good

I'm honoured to have met this young lady- talent, beauty and passion- Paige Mac Mahon

The guys at work (I mean, play)

Seriously fierce- Yvette posing with Paige Mac Mahon (Diva)

Fede and Paige Mac Mahon

The guys are seriously warm & inviting- Paige Mac Mahon, Federico Fernandez and Shaun Parsons

Myself and Shaun Parsons

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

I’m no groupie

But damn last night was awesome.

I went to see ‘Son of a 1000’ last at night Purple Turtle on Long in town with my friend Michelle. I have been to Purple Turtle before to see Plush and Jesse Clegg perform, so initially I thought it was going to be a dodge affair, again.

On the contrary, it was quite delightful. <—-insert English accent.

They are busy with revamping the place, so more DODGE city.

Anyway, back to the gig. There were two performers who stole the show (almost) before the main act started. This one chick ne. Yor. Like. I was melting in her voice and her performance just drew me in. #mesmerized. If only I could remember her name. (You see ladies, it’s not only the guys who don’t remember your name in the morning). I think they (the dudes with the money) are going to help her get some more exposure or a recording or something. I don’t know, I was trying not to listen to other people’s conversations. But they should. I’m just going to say- she is better than Adele. Yeah, I said it. And Michelle and I got to chat to her afterwards and she applied to come to UCT next year. Yay. (Why I’m excited about that is beyond me).

<INSERT EDIT> Paige Mac Mahon is her name. WATCH OUT. BIG things!

Now, for the main guys. Son of a 1000 (S1000.) WOW. Let’s see- look I don’t want to over dramatize their talent and what-not. I think what always moves me to respect the artists (in general) performing is when they are true to their heart, their calling and they perform with that truth. Like they ‘live’ every note and line from the songs. They need to be real. These guys have that, and they make it seem so effortless. They are really funny too. It’s a good mix between great music and great personalities. Federico is totally random and tickles his guitar as they perform- in a non-awkward fashion. When you meet him, he has this real sense of ‘loving life’ and ‘loving people’. I admire that. Then Shaun surprises you with his vocal range and expresses every note and lyric like his life depended on it. Looks like it does. Well, he had me going there for a moment. These two. Together. What fun!

Also, I think it’s so amazing that someone would have the courage to be on stage- it takes real courage. #real talk. That is what it would be for me anyway- to find my inner diva and get on stage and rhyme. I get butterflies just thinking of it. *floating in the air as i delve on the thought*

Back to S1000. In the spirit of sharing and promoting artists and their work- I say check out their FB page ‘Son on a 1000’ and http://www.reverbnation.com/sonofa1000 . Listen to their tracks.

Dates of next shows:

3rd of November at Zula Bar, Long Street.
5th of November at PERIGATORS, Pringle Bay
6th of November at Barmooda- with our man CHAD SAAIMAN: Summertime Edition.
8th of November at Trinity.

Oh yeah and they have tattoos and stuff. So they cool, like me.

I miss the stage.#more than an afterthought

P.S Pics to follow- later today.

Miss Y