Hi my name is Yvette and I’m overweight. There, I said it. Now I can move on.
It’s amazing how one’s weight can affect almost every part of one’s life. I feel it the most when I’m around other people. I imagine people commenting how tight my clothes are, or how attractive I could be if I just looked after myself. I must say since I’ve been better mentally, the negative thoughts haven’t really infiltrated my head as heavily as they did before.
But being fat still sucks.
I have boxes of old clothes that are (way) too small for me now but I so badly yearn to be fit into them. I hear you say, “throw ’em out then.” But no. They all have sentimental value. Plus, I used to look hot in them. One day, they’ll be vintage and in fashion again. I just don’t know if my body will be in fashion again.
Most of the times I feel the weight of my weight when I’m around my children. They’re so busy, and I can’t always move like they do or keep up with them. I’d like to get to a fitness level where I have a fighting chance of playing with for more than 10 minutes without panting to get the few words out, “OK, mommy is tired now.”
I decided to embark on a running (read that as walking) challenge. Everyday, just a walk down the road or around my block. I want to do it early in the morning because I don’t really want people to see me breathe heavily (*giggle*). I used to be a dancer, believe it or not, but even then I felt fat- no matter how hard I trained, I felt bigger than I was. When I was around 12, I used to sit and stare at my thighs. I’d poke and prod at the “fat”. It was all in my head. I was poking at muscle.
Anyway, that’s in the past. Looking forward now.
Come on Yvette.
You can do this.
I have lost a bit of weight after changing medication but I still have a lot more to lose. I’m currently a size 40. I’ve changed to eating low carb meals so I’m hoping that will help. I’ve also noted what situations make me what to pour chocolate down my throat. I try to avoid those times. I have running gear, 2 x 2 kg weights and a skipping rope. I have all my shit together.
I have to do this.