I cannot and will not sugar coat how awful scalp psoriasis is for me and to me. Psoriasis is a skin condition that looks like it’s in same family as eczema but it in my case, it was caused by long term use in lithium. This I learned the hard way.
I have blogged about it before here, but after being taken off lithium, I expected it to die out completely. But no. The beast lives on my head, and shows its face at time of stress, like now.
During my hospital stay I was weaned off lithium and now I’m on Tegratol, Divalproex Sodium and Zyprexa. This proved to be great for my scalp, but we are still monitoring my mood with the new meds.
We have confirmed that we are leaving the city life in Cape Town for the quiet town life in Saldahna Bay, on the west coast of South Africa. With the stress of another move coming up, slowly but surely the psoriasis has flared up again, so its back to R200 bottles of shampoo and daily routine of getting the ointment being put on. When I was admitted in the clinic, it was easy to maintain the bugger with a good routine set in place; it’s a little tricky at home. I still haven’t established a good routine for goodness sake. Sometimes I feel that the clinic made me more sensitive as I am so much more aware of myself and my “signs”.
Speaking of “signs”, psychosis is something I have battled away in the unquiet room that is my mind. It was really something I found to be embarrassing and never spoke of it- or failed to recognize it as. Something I should mention to a health practitioner. Psychosis forms part of my manic episode where I have trouble or disturbances in thinking or perception. So, I see things or hear things that are not there. I does not sound as creepy as it is. To me, it’s just frustrating and makes me jump up at every sound I hear. We live in a pretty big house so I walk up and down, finding the cause of the noise when its in my head. Or, I see things in the corner of my eye, like someone standing there or something running. I have coped for years with this and it’s a bit of a relief knowing there is a name for it. In the same breath, it is a warning sign, and I know I need to do less “stuff” and relax a bit to keep myself from reaching a full manic episode. (I accidentally typed magic instead of manic, how weird is that?) So I know I have bipolar disorder, for all those nonbelievers out there.
I have psychotic symptoms.
There, I said it. It does not make me weaker that any other person, it just adds another part of me – as it is something I need to monitor to stay the same Yvette you know and love. 🙂
I wanted to add, if I’m a little distant, know that I’m busy with life. That should be a good thing, no?
PS A really great book to read for people diagnosed with bipolar disorder as well as their support is, the Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide-what your family really need to know by David Miklowitz PhD. It is available at your local library in South Africa-or ask them to order it for you. Or just buy it online! Another great read should be the book on http://www.twobipolarchicks.com/. I haven’t read that one yet but the two authors are great to follow for insight into living with bipolar disorder.