Little update

It’s been really difficult to update my status or answer q’s as to if I’m doing okay. This, especially since I am in the clinic the Easter weekend. I thought I was well enough to leave. 😦 so I’ll need to stay till next Tuesday.

This is a new low. I tried to sleepisode (sleep it iff episode)it off. It worked, kind off. Maybe it didn’t.

“I can’t do it.”

Those are words still lingering inside me.

And I know there a root to it all. A trigger to the gun which kills everyone I love, one by one.

Ideas are meaningless if you are stuck in a psychiatric facility, promises even moreso.

So, I promise I’ll be out soon, but hoping I’d be loved today for my honesty in saying, “I hold the gun.”

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2 thoughts on “Little update

  1. Kitt O'Malley says:

    I send you my love, Yvette. Since you are so depressed, I am taking the liberty of quoting from my Holy Friday post today.

    YOU ARE LOVED. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. LOVE YOURSELF. YOU ARE WORTHY OF YOUR OWN LOVE. HAVE COMPASSION FOR YOURSELF. FORGIVE YOURSELF YOUR BROKENNESS. IT IS OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY. TAKE CARE.

    Depressed I once believed that I was alone, unloved, unforgivably flawed, and not worthy of life. I believed that the world would be a better place without me in it… If an omnipotent being (God) can take human form (Jesus) and suffer pain on my behalf (on ALL our behalf), then we can forgive and love ourselves.

    I love you, Yvette. You are in my prayers over this spiritually meaningful weekend. May you experience a metaphorical rebirth. May your depressive episode die and your mental health be reborn to renewed hope for wellness and recovery. XOXOXO

    Liked by 1 person

  2. dyane says:

    What Kitt wrote is so beautiful, Yve, and exactly how I’ve felt.
    You WILL get through this!

    Someday this experience will be a distant memory reminding you of your remarkable strength!!! I know that might be hard or impossible to believe, but it’s true!

    You know what I say…”Please fight this evil shit!!!!”

    Much love!!!!!!
    Always,
    Dyane
    Xoxo

    Like

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