The Monster I Loathe…

This post reminded me of the major depression I suffered in 2012. I didn’t know I was Bipolar at the time, but my poetic voice did. I wrote many poems to voice what I was experiencing. As I told a gentlemen earlier today ” I believe that poetry translates my illness into bursts of imagery; sometimes creating images I fear I can’t always control.”

I look forward to more posts. And if you’re up to it, I’m appreciate a look at my blogs (I have two). I’m looking for a mentor to tackle my memoir.

bipolarmuse ♥


I have been struggling lately and it is crushing. My chest is heavy, my eyes are tearful, all I want to feel is painless mentally and physically… I want to be numb. I totally understand how many people with mental issues have substance abuse problems as well. Sometimes it comes to the ancient  question of what came first, the chicken or the egg?

My heart hurts and my mind keeps diving into the past causing me to have “flashes” of moments that hurt me to my core, to my very soul. I want to go back in time and slap the shit out of myself… I want to yell and scream, I want to release my rage and rid myself of the monster on my back. I want to go back to a time when I did not know hate. To a time when my blood didn’t run cold. To…

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