Wow. 27 years old and married, with 2 children. Really? Me? There came a time when I didn’t think this were possible. Life has funny way of turning around. I mean as in a full 180 degrees!
Last year this time I had been in a low, it happens to me this time of year- and just come out of hospital with a very strange flu. The entire experience was quite traumatic and somewhat dramatic (as most of the events in my life are). I went to the emergency room numerous ocassons, suffered panic attacks, not being able to walk and spent a whole weekend in hospital. This theY say was due to having flu and severe stress and anxiety issues. Pfff, wow. So they were basically telling me this was all in my mind. That is scary.
In my mind I somehow crippled myself mentally and, and it extended physically. I was at my lowest of low, I was diagnosed with an illness, lost track of both university and academic career. My mind and spirit was in agony. I befriended my husband (then boyfriend) and we both learnt about my illness, coping strategies and slowly I recovered and thrived. Then I fell pregnant! Ha! I could not believe it- just as we were getting somewhere.
It turned out that the baby boy I was carrying was an even bigger blessing that we had thought. We all know God does not make mistakes.
I had a very difficult pregnancy, even though I thought it would be smooth sailing as I had experience with my 6 year old. Boy was I wrong! Trips to the hospital, premature labour, getting married, moving for the first time, new job- all of it. Just was a whirlwind of a ride. But well worth it.
I used to spend sleepless nights making lists, writing and having ideas about many concpets and events, now I spend my nights sleeping, soundly. I spend my quiet times reading and spending time with my little family. I sit in quiet moments to redefine who I am- not because who i am or was isn’t good enough, but rather that all those bumpy rides gives one perspective, a different way of looking at who I am and what i want my children and husand to remember.
Will I pick up a pen/ laptop to write again and share my little wisdoms with you in prose or poetry?
(prev Miss Y)
—The new me—-